BEAUTIFUL IN ALL SEASONS

I am really tired... Oh, my God! Where do I begin? Let's start with why I feel this way. Naturally, I pour myself into everything I do. From work, family and friendships, I pour myself whole heartedly❣️That's fulfilling for me.🤍  However, currently I don't want to extend myself, that's what my body is asking from me. That I just be in touch with myself and do just enough. I feel like am struggling right now.  My health has been really challenging me. RA has just been hitting me hard.  🥺 I usually fight, I am usually positive, I am usually strong 💪🏽. Yesterday I was frustrated because It was really bad, and I was too drained. I cried and entertained death thoughts 💭. I also told God: I am feeling weak. I call Him father ... I felt weak because my thoughts were the opposite of everything I stand for; hope, positivity, joy, peace. I had silenced joy and peace. This morning I woke up calm. I usually got me, I can handle myself. but I think it's alright to give in a...

  Refuge, a shelter from pursuit, danger or difficulty. My home, my refuge by default. A structure built to shield me. A shield from the heatwaves. A shield from the shivery days of winter. My protector and comforter against the murkiness of life. Home, a place on a second upon stepping in i am hugged by acceptance; a tight huger on "am surviving" kind of a day. A sharer of all sorts of peace. The main door that forever holds my smile. Home, a heart beat. A being i long to sit next to on days am hiding from the world. A being i look forward to sharing my best and worst experiences with. My celebrator on an average kind of a day. My chipper, little insane favourite human. A being i can always be myself around without the consciousness of my posture. Home, a heart beat: Mama, Nthabi, Sihle, Hlonie, Sonto, Lals, Metso, Sibusiso, Phemelo (In no order of importance)

  Father is the giver of life, one that watches over this life. One who knows how beautiful and worth it i am. One who believes in me and hopes i believe him and trust him, because once i do, i am unstoppable. Father encourages me, holds my hand and teaches me. Father advises me, he councils me. Father provides for me, basic needs and everything needed to get me to the destination he knows best for me; daddy want nothing but the best for me. With every fall daddy never left. When i felt alone, when i felt weak, when i thought no fight is left in me, when i saw no use for me to keep on, when i was devastated... daddy NEVER left!  Daddy stayed in the lonely rooms. Daddy was right next to me when i cried myself to sleep.  Daddy is my forever present dad; friend and i am grateful for daddy. Dear Daddy Thank you for your forever fresh love you for me. Thank you that you know and see me as enough, as beautiful and as capable. Thank you for standing with me. I am brave today bec...

"You are strong!" "You are powerful!" Lately I have a problem with the words "you are strong" being spoken to me by someone who cares or me speaking them to myself, than before. I have substituted strength for power. I now affirm  "I am powerful" instead of "I am strong"! According to the dictionary this is what being strong; and being powerful mean: In a nutshell, "powerful" = full of power, it can mean you are capable of exerting power, potency or influence. Whereas, "Strong" is being tough, mentally or physically. In most cases, when an individual says "you are strong" what they are trying to do is to pull strength out of you. They are trying to get you back to a position of zeal from a position of vulnerability. These words are intended to lift instead of pulling down. These words are expressed to correct. In my experience these words amplify a different message of late than before. Every time I think a...

Writing for me is thinking through a pen and making sense of on paper. It can look like lining my emotions and discovering each one of them.  I write to understand and to express.   How I develop a piece: I pour my heart every time I write; passions and pains. A sweet or sour hour! I write from the heart not the mind.   A sour hour is when I call forth from the line, a strong negative emotion like anger, emptiness, frustration, disappointment, hurt, loneliness, etc. A sweet hour is when I call forth light positive emotions like joy, satisfaction, excitement, peace, love, hope, inspiration, etc.  Sweet or sour O'clock? My favourite hour is the sweetest, I can do away with the sour hour because it always demands more from me, it feels like a stretch. Uncomfortable!  Unpacking,  unmasking,  facing,  feeling and  dealing.  Tough, constant human activity. The sour stuff. I have discovered that to deal with s...

Hello there. I think i have mentioned before that i have RA (rheumatoid arthritis). Been feeling weird lately; tired, drained, and just weird. Normally, during the cold season my body just be reporting zombie like symptoms.  My friend at work asks me every morning if am okay, apparently my posture tells people am bothered, am not bothered, all i am is... just tired. I wish i could rest until spring, like taking a leave the whole of autumn and winter to nurse my uncomfortable joints and muscles, only if it was possible. I think that would be lovely. Cannot wait until am never sick again... In the meantime i perform my duties and take it easy with myself.  LOVE PROCESS =  DO WITH PATIENCE & KINDNESS 💛

  HI! WHOA!!! It’s hot in here. The hour has come upon us to check in with the gorgeous, powerful best friend. Damn! Twenties are so real, being independent is the main problem this time. I can do anything and the past has proven that even the very thing that disarms me, I can face, deal with and overcome. But I don’t always want to be strong, I don’t always want to deal with, I want to have fun, I want to be calm every day; not because I have to be a bigger person, but because life is amazing. A thought of this desire not being a reality makes me sad. Wouldn’t you agree teenage years are/were the most chilled with an exception to loss of course? We didn’t have to face and deal with E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Grateful for the 100% support I received back then. I wish I could go back to immerse myself a little bit more in all of it. I’ve always been a big spoony, this time I’d be a little spoony as i I should have. As an independent 24-year-old girl I am leaning that best friend c...