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A gruesome morning A courageous day


It is the night of the 11th of February i get into bed i set my alarm for 4am. An hour earlier than usual because i intend to clean my house before i go to work so that when i return i am only faced with laundry for a chore. I lay down and sleep, i wake up the Lord is still sustaining me. However, i feel close to crippled. My body screams 'today is so impossible!'  I get up regardless and decide to eat a bit so i can stomach the medication and give my body 30 more minutes of rest. 

I usually refuse to take meds as prescribed; two to three times a day instead i take them once in the evening to avoid complete dependency on the medication. This morning is different and calls for desperate measures.


It is 4;30 am i decide to make my bed and activate my plan. I do so as i give thanks to God and express my hurt at the same time. I obviously question when is the end ever coming. I give thanks again for all i have and am able to do. like hope, like resilience, like peace while i acknowledge again to myself that i am struggling ,its really difficult and i don't know how i get to do what i do for the past thirteen years. 

Any how, we keep it moving. :)

I get to work, there's a stuff meeting, am not even early for coffee. I leave the meeting and make my way to class still feeling incapable bumping into a colleague who complements my look. SHe said i looked energetic for one who was working over the weekend. Well, i almost questioned that but i decided to accept and embrace the positive. 

The moment i step into class i am a happy enthusiastic teacher. My morning feels gruesome but my lessons and day was pleasant despite  my body feeling impossible. I guess my morning prayer sustained me, it carried me through.

It is 02:02 pm and here's My take away from  me + work today:

Faith workS when i feel i cannot.

Honesty is the first step to healing.

Prayer is an invitation for God to step in.

Today started beyond terrible and proceeded beautifully as God clothed me with a garment of courage. My body is still struggling but i feel that truly the joy of the Lord is my strength. ~Nehemiah 8:10

xoxo 

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