Five things i live by

"A man without decision of character can never be said to belong to himself... He belongs to whatever can make captive of him." ~John Foster

My simple break down of this quote by Foster is: If anything can influence your mental state and moral standards it manages your life with or without your permission. 

As a child what we observe and totally rely on is that our parents and guardians are in charge of us, managing the affairs of our lives. Health- taking us to a health institute when we are ill, school-preparing so we are ready to participate in academics, social or sport event, to going as far as lying to us that if we put our tooth in a sneaker the tooth fairy will visit and turn it into money. A good for us lie right! ha-ha-ha😂. 

For the most part of our lives someone has been in charge for our well-being. When we turn 21 the society expects us to take over all of these responsibilities and manage our own life. Not just in any way but as best as we can so that the decisions we make and the actions we take produce the, "great life". The shift of responsibilities is great but not always exciting and motivating.

As i navigate my 20s i am learning from the Ls and the Ws that the expectations from my loved ones comes from the knowing that i am capable and the pressure and anxiety i tend to feel comes from the fear that i might not be as capable or great enough to rise to the standard and actually achieve what i want for my life and make the parent very proud. I mean after all the economy we live in sucks, the world systems are not so kind.

Here are 5ve things i live by that continue to help me manage my 20 something years old life.

#1 Faith

I love to belong, and my relationship with THE Trinity never fails to provide security for me. When i am overwhelmed i  have a friend that already understands and makes room for me to express myself. From the frustrations to the absolute joys of life. When i feel i am lacking i have a Father that not only reassures me but also provides in an  area where there is a need. My favourite thing about this special relationship is the soft message within reminding me when i am panicking under pressure that i am not doing this alone. I am affirmed #covered on a daily. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+91&version=AMP

#2 Pouring into myself

I am in a business of taking care of people. By profession i am a teacher. I elevate minds and give energy to the character of the high school scholars. Receiving responsibility for teenagers from the age 22, having to teach and parent them at the same time forced me to realise the importance of intentionally taking both mental and physical rests. 

A bad and good habit of every teacher is to take work with home. Not only that but we also reflect on our lessons and question our observation of that learner that looked distant than usual. We question 🤔if they understood. What can be done to help make a boring topic exciting. To just wondering how to help a kid gain confidence in expressing self. 

Because the mind is always thinking of the next thing to do, one day i was tucked in bed ready to sleep but my mind wouldn't stop with the race, it kept my nerves at a peak. That is when i realised that controlling my mind is equally doable as controlling my body. I literally told my mind to stop ✋ we are tired, its sleeping time. I could then fall asleep. From that night whenever my mind is exhausting me i exercise control by deciding its enough, and start engaging in that which helps fill my cup at that moment. 

#3 Celebrating the little things

This is what a study from Harvard medical school found on the importance of gratitude. 

"gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships."

People feel and express gratitude in multiple ways. They can apply it to the past (retrieving positive memories and being thankful for elements of childhood or past blessings), the present (not taking good fortune for granted as it comes), and the future (maintaining a hopeful and optimistic attitude). Regardless of the inherent or current level of someone's gratitude, it's a quality that individuals can successfully cultivate further."

Personally i love appreciating small accomplishments such as:

checking off everything on my to do list. From doing household chores to getting work for the day done without rescheduling. I love such days. I thank my self by allowing myself the rest afterwards. Expressing gratitude from the smallest things encourages me to look forward to do the next thing and suddenly i appreciate myself for my efforts. All leading to a positive, healthy relationship with self. Boosts confidence and cultivate a healthy relationship with the environment and other others. Gratitude is the formula for a joyful life. Talk about taking it easy man.

#4 Doing things wholeheartedly

Doing things diligently forces most to all senses to be engaged. It stimulates the mind leading to clear thoughts and great ideas. This relieves stress while increases excitement for the activity guaranteeing fulfilment once the activity is done.  Everything done wholeheartedly becomes the best thing done. #FakeItUntilYouMakeIt when necessary😉. 

#5 Respecting anyone
I live by the mantra that everyone is important until proving otherwise. Everyone has something to offer and teach through the lance of their shared stories from lived experiences. Only the great minds intentionally engage in a conversation with a toilet cleaner , a gate keeper, and a car guard. 

In closing lets not let ourselves be overtaken by anxiety and crippled by stress. We can be in control of the most important organ in our bodies.